Filipino Family Life and Culture, an American Expat’s Immersed Perspective on The Philippines

Yesterday morning my wife woke me up suddenly.  She seemed highly concerned and my first Earthly thought was that I might have been having a seizure of sorts, but upon inquiry she told me she woke me up suddenly because I was crouched in the bed and muttering something she couldn’t understand, and my arms were in a position like I was holding an Armalite rifle.

Actually, I was dreaming.  I was in my bedroom in my grandparent’s house and there was a moose in the pecan grove behind the house, and I had my 7mm Remington Magnum shouldered and was about to take him out.  Nevermind that there are no Moose in Northern Florida.  I wasn’t even going to open the window because I was afraid of spooking the moose, I was going to shoot right through the plate glass window, and just as I was getting him in my 10x sites, Marissa shakes me awake.

What a trophy that moose would have made, if only in my dreams.  And I was robbed of it because my wife thought I was having a bad dream.

Note to my wife: if it appears I am stalking something while sleeping and dreaming, please let me take my trophy before awakening me.  If I look like I’m afraid, then by all means wake me up, but if I look like I am intent in purpose, let me dream, even if I am muttering incomprehensibly and act like I have an arsenal at my side.  Please.

Now, how am I ever going to find that moose again?

I have never been quite so sure I was glad to be a man as to watch my own wife suffer through the labor of childbirth. Then I was sure. I’m glad I am a man.

Birthing Race, the Video

I never realized the burden, the actual toll a child takes on a woman, and maybe I still don’t, but I am sure I am much more cognizant of it now. 14 hours of unmedicated labor, followed by a C-section. No, thanks. I’ll keep my penis, if you don’t mind. And if, God, you see it in your wisdom to re-incarnate me, please keep this preference in mind. Thanks.

I wanted to name the child after my brother and late father, Horace O’Donal Turner, Jr, and Sr., resp, but Filipino Family law requires that the mother’s maiden name be the middle name of the child, so the boy’s first name is “Horace O’Donal III”.  Middle name is Valles, and the last name is Turner.  Horace O’Donal III Valles Turner is the official name.  OIP (Only In the Philippines).

We’re all together at home.

Race is a quiet baby. He only cries when he needs to burp, fart, poo-poo, or when hungry. Most of the time he just smiles. Marissa tells people they don’t really need to see photos of the baby because he looks just like me. And he does.

Special thanks to all my extended family from aunts and uncles to Lola and Lolo, and my numerous brothers-and-sisters-in-laws for making this baby seemingly effortless to care for.

Look for Baby 2.0 in a couple of years. Hopefully, it will be a girl.

I have been advised that there is a Filipino superstition that says if a baby has the cord wrapped around his neck he will be a naughty boy.

Since Race had his cord wrapped around his neck twice, I figure that means “double trouble”.

While I am no expert on babies this one looks to me like he’s at least a couple of weeks old already, even though he was born precisely on his due date.

He’s got five fingers on each hand and five toes on each foot. I know I will lose some readership by posting a lot of photos of my baby, but this is a family blog, and I’m sure the most interested readers of this blog will appreciate the photos.

Deal or No Deal?

This baby looks like he’s already a month old compared to other babies at the hospital nursery.

I’ve always thought babies looked like little lizards and more than once I have wondered if when one day I had a baby I would think my own to be unlike other babies and be adorable, and if I did, whether such thought would be driven by my being the father. Yet after seeing this baby, I think he is gwapo kaayo (very handsome), and I do not think that it is just because it is my baby. This is going to be one fine-looking kid. Maybe I have betrayed my own sense of objectiveness, but I don’t think so.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

On your 74th birthday, I give you a grandson.

Horace O’Donal Turner, III, was brought into this World at 11:50 PM, January 7, 2008, (that’s at 7:50 AM PST, Mom) in a complicated delivery, via a necessary cesarean section procedure, but both baby and mother are healthy and well.

At 8.1 pounds, he’s a big one, by Filipino standards.

Marissa went into labor around 9 AM and we took her to Madonna & Child Hospital at around Noon. Marissa labored on for a total of around 14 hours until at 11 PM, when it was decided the baby was just not coming out. It turns out the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice, probably from all the dancing around he did the last couple of months before he was born. He sure was a lively one as a bun-in-the-oven.

The baby is named after my late father and older brother, Horace O’Donal Turner, Senior and Junior, respectively. We will probably call the baby “Race”, but since his initials are H.O.T. III, that’s triple hot, so maybe we’ll call him “Grabe Kainit”, or “Init Kaayo” (very hot), or just “Init”, which means “hot” in Visayan, but probably not.

See the H.O.T.3 incubator video here.

As we did in on Philippines New Year’s Eve 2006 we celebrated again in the same place, in the same manner, with just a few changes of faces.

Philippines New Year’s Eve Celebration 2007 Photo Gallery

Philippines New Year’s Eve Celebration 2007 Video (this is one hour long)

We held our 2nd Annual Jose Rizal Day Party on December 30, 2007, on the 111th year of his martyrdom. His wife, upon his death, took up arms against the Spanish oppressors, which is to me, his/her greatest contribution to his merit of heroism, despite the many, many others of merit.

Jose Rizal Day Celebration/Commemoration Photo Gallery

While the Major of Cagayan de Oro, Tinnex Jaraula, and the Governor of the Province of Misamis Oriental, Oscar Moreno, were conspicuously absent, we were graced by many members of the Rotary Club of Cagayan de Oro, and Cuyas of the Philippine Eagles, a couple of Colonels, a couple of Majors, a couple of Captains, and a few regular non-commissioned PNP officers, as well as numerous members of the ex-Pat community, and a plethora of Harvestseo.com and Sticky Media Employees.

I took most of the the below video before the party even got started, and the fish feeding was at the very end, for those of the hard-core variety who wished to stay until the liquor ran out, though could not, because it did not run out.

Jose Rizal Day Party Video 158kbps, 3.6 MB

Jose Rizal Day Party Video 55kbps, 1.3 MB 

It was a Filipino extended family Christmas Eve and we spent it at the house eating lots of Filipino dishes and singing lots of videoke tunes.

I performed Santa Clause is Coming to Town. See the 158kbps video here, and the 55kbps video here.

Marissa did the Butsikik song a5 158kbps here, and there’s a 55kbps version here.

The the entire Christmas Eve Photo Gallery here.

My nephew, Anfernee, and his 2nd cousin “Gogo” both attend Pink Tower Learning Center in Nazareth, Cagayan de Oro. It seems to be a great school and Anfernee has really blossomed under their tutelage. On Thursday they put on their annual Christmas play at SM Mall and yours truly was on site to capture the moment.

Pink Tower Christmas Play Photo Gallery

Pink Tower Christmas Play Video (20 MB) 320×240 158kbps
Pink Tower Christmas Play Video (7MB) 160×120 55kbps

Marissa wants me to buy some fancy crib for the baby. Traditionally, babies sleep in the same bed as the parents, between the parents, in The Philippines. That is out because I weight about 208 pounds and I drink some and take sleeping pills sometimes. I also have a tendency to sleep close to my partner, wrap up with them in my arms and often throw a leg over them. Surely this would not be good for the baby.

However, Marissa bought a small unfinished wooden crib for her little store at Tiano and Mabini Streets for our niece to sleep in when she’s at the store, and I thought one of these would be perfectly adequate for our baby too. But noooooo. That will not do. I suggested to Marissa that for the cost of one of those expensive cribs we could buy five of the small inexpensive ones and then have one for every room in the house, the kitchen, the living room, the family room, and one for our bedroom, and one for Marissa’s parents room also. And with the money left over we’d have plenty for blankets and pillows to dress up all those cribs.

Marissa likes the idea of having many cribs, but still wants a fancy one. I don’t see any use for it. So, for the first couple of weeks at least I’ve decided we’ll use a cardboard box and just put newspapers in the bottom, and keep a good supply of newspapers on hand to keep the box clean. Plus, we could even shred some of the newspapers to make the bottom softer for the baby. I’ll post photos here when I have them.