Filipino Family Life and Culture, an American Expat’s Immersed Perspective on The Philippines

I’ve already published some of these photos, but they got mixed in with some newer ones.  Some of the photos are cell phone phones in poor light and are not very good, but I’m not deleting any of them.

Race Turner Photo Album.

Dreaming baby video.

What do babies dream about?

Yesterday I watched for the 2nd time the Good Friday processions of the Philippine Independent Catholic Church (PICC) and the Roman Catholic Church (RCC). Last year I did not realize what the processions were about, but this year it dawned on me that these processions are re-enactments of a funeral procession for the recently crucified to death body of Jesus.

In image 302 of the RCC procession you can actually see the body of Jesus in a glass coffin. The procession starts at the Cathedral and ends at the Cathedral. They don’t actually re-enact the entombment of the body. Photo gallery of RCC procession. I also took a short video of the beginning of the procession, a part in the middle where tactless Filipino drivers cut disrespectively cut through the procession, and at the end of the video there is a guy with shirt over his head self-flagellating himself, and his back was raw and bloody, but to each their own. Click here to see the RCC Procession video.

The Philippine Independent Catholic Church is the most tangible product of the 1998 revolution against Spain rule. At about this time Spanish and British colonies around the World were fighting for independence. One of the biggest means of control the Spanish had in the Philippines was the Roman Catholic Church, many of the clery sided with the Spanish. So the PICC was officially formed in 1902, does not recognize the authority the Pope, and abolished celibacy of the priesthood. While the PICC is much smaller than the RCC, it seems to me to be growing.

Couples who are not both Roman Catholics and who are not married in Roman Catholic ceremony cannot have their children christened in the Roman Catholic Church. So they have them christened by the PICC. The child may grow up attending the Roman Catholic masses, and while he may think of himself as Roman Catholic as a result thereof, because he was not christened in a RCC ceremony then when he gets married and has children, none of them can become Roman Catholics too.

Here’s a short video of the PICC Good Friday procession.

Here’s a photo gallery of the PICC Good Friday procession.

On the East side of Cagayan de Oro is a road that goes up a fairly steep mountain road. Eco-Village is on that mountain, and there also some kind of wilderness resort up that mountain that offers hiking, rock climbing and and overnight camping. The road is steep is my point. I can get up the mountain on my 2007 Honda Wave 125 in 2nd gear, even if it is only just me on the bike.

Along the road there are 14 crosses. Every year, for three days, the Catholics of the Cagayan de Oro area march up this road, stopping at each cross and say a Rosary. Mainly they climb the mountain at night because it is much cooler than during the day. It is not really a social event, it is more a form of self-sacrifice. In three days hundreds of thousands of people walk up this mountain. And if it is really a demonstration of self-sacrifice, why don’t more of them climb the mountain during the day, when the climb is tougher.

I did take a short video along the highway just to show the sheer volume of people that make this climb. Remember, goes on for 3 days and nights. Click here to see the Malasag 14 stations of the cross video.

In 2006, before I moved back to The Philippines to marry Marissa I suggested to her that I cut my hair. At that point I had had long pony tail for over a dozen years and just was tired of it. Plus, the Philippines was so hot I knew I wold be more comfortable with short hair. Marissa told me she wouldn’t marry me if I cut my hair, so I stayed with the long hair. Even after we have been married 1.5 years she still did not want me to cut my hair.

This time I had an excuse though. I was joining a fraternity and conservative looks are important to this group. They advised me to cut my hair. I made sure Marissa overheard that my having a pony tail could make the difference between me joining this group or not. Is it okay if I cut my hair? ‘Sure” she replied. The next day I sat in the barber’s chair, kissed my pony tail that I had at point worn for more than 15 years and told the barber to cut it off.

People tell me I looke 10 years younger and so much more gwapo. I actually look like an Amerian Business man in The Philippines and not just some junkie tourist. This is the shortest my hair has been in 35 years.

My wife texted me earlier today that she wanted to buy a Dachshund. Some of these dogs have some temperament problems, but after seeing this one, and how friendly it was, I agreed. The dog is about 1 year old, was taken to our vet and we were told she had already had many of her shots.

The problem is this dog was found on the street by a friend of a cousin of Marissa. We paid him PHP 1500 for the dog. She is a female, about one-year old, and she has obviously been cared for dearly by someone.

I did not know about how the dog came into the possession of Marissa’s cousin’s friend until after dog was bought and brought to our house.

I told Marissa she could have the dog on one condition: that if my rottweiler bred with this dachshund female I would put a bullet in her head, and she had to promise to keep the dogs totally separated if and when the female went into heat.

Actually, one of our neighbors also has a dachshund, so it is possible we could breed pups and sell them, though this is not my idea of a good way of making money.

My point is here that we have bought a dog that obviously belongs to someone else, who has been cared for and nurtured. This is not a street dog. I am publishing photos of this dog in the hope that her rightful owner will be informed and we can return the dog to such rightful owner. The owner must be able to prove that they are the owner of this dog, not only by recognition from the dog, but by photographic history, which I am sure they must have.

While this female dachshund is a fine and friendly dog and had the same markings as my Rottweiler and will make a good companion for him, my heart goes out to the rightful owner. Please, come claim your dog, if it is yours. Comment on this blog and leave your cell phone number and/or email address and I will contact you.

Manny, past president, of the Rotary Club of Cagayan de Oro invited Marissa and I to attend a “Romance by the Bay” concert with Dave & Joy, he a pianist and she a singer, held at Harbor Lights Hotel on Valentines Day. The concert was hosted by the Rotary Club of Metro Cagayan de Oro.

We arrived a little late, but still got a table near the stage, and the food was pretty good. I was told by Manny that most of the member of the Metro Rotary Club were medical doctors, but I did not know any of them. Marissa, though, pointed out a couple of handsome Filipinos in the crowed that had tried to court her in the past, so she knew some of them, but was not in the mood to introduce me to any of them.

There were some good singers in the crowd, and I basically assumed that it was a chance for the Metro Rotary Club to show of their singing talents, for which they had plenty, but not knowing anyone there but Manny, it was a pretty boring occasion for me.

So, as soon as it seemed okay to leave, without insulting anyone we took off for some Downtown Divisoria Cagayan de Oro night life, to celebrate our 2nd Valentine’s Day together as a married couple. First we went to Mojo’s, but the place was pretty sparse and it is not air-conditioned, so instead we opted for Pulse, which is where I originally met Marissa in March 2005, the weekend after she graduated college, but then it went by the name “Xcite”. The remodeling has made it into a much nicer place.

I was really impressed with the first band that was playing called “Nick & Friends”, which is comprised of a bassist, a rhythm guitar, lead guitar, and a drummer, who was apparently the band leader. In addition, they had an older guy who just shook a pea pod, but had a nice voice. They play every Thursday night at Pulse from 8 PM to 10 PM, and are the most unique band I have seen in The Philippines, not counting the tribal band that played at our wedding. They played mostly 60’s music and some early 70’s stuff. Very acoustic (though not completely), and they had some great harmonizing voices. You could tell these guys spend a lot of their time practicing. I would highly recommend them. The band is led by Francis Mabanag, (09263008781 - cell phone), and email francismabanag@yahoo.com. They are willing to travel, but are local to Cagayan de Oro. I will make sure I return next Thursday night to get a longer list of songs they play, but trust me it was great. It was almost like culture shock walking into this bar and hearing these guys play, almost like walking into a blues bar in Chicago.

Nick & Friends short Video

After Nick and Friends finished another band took over and while they were good, they were like most Filipino bands. (Most Filipino bands have some really good talent). An American in the Audience made a request that he be allowed to sing a song for his Filipino wife. I really wish I had captured this to video because it was great. He sang Joe Cocker’s “You are so beautiful to me”, and the band got his wife on stage while he sang it. He had a great voice and delivered a great song. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the place when he was done. Mine certainly needed to be wipe with my hanky several times. Surreptitiously, of course so no one would think I was weak, but it was absolutly touching. I wish I had a voice like that.

Marissa and I danced alone together for the 2nd time in our lives, and we wept in each other’s arms while dancing. I am not dancer but it was a slow song and I can shuffle around in circles and make jokes in Marissa’s ear to keep her smiling.

I’ll post photos later, and a short video of Nick and Friends. Marissa and I wish for all couples out there that there may be differences between the personalities, but true commitment, to each other, resolves all.

Marissa and I attended the monthly meeting of the CdO Eagles, which meets on the 2nd Tuesday of each month at Sunriva Restaurant.

I am the man with the cam.

So, I rose to the challenge.

I took as many photos as I could.

Several Lady Eagles visited Marissa in the hospital after she delivered my 6 week old baby, Race.

Some of the Lady Eagles invited Marissa to go to Navigators with them, which is a male “strip/dance” club. Some might call it a gay bar. However, when I took Marissa there before and went to use the CR (restroom), and returned, I found several male dancers surrounding Marissa trying to get her cell phone number, so I strongly suspect that many if not most of the male dancers there are NOT gay.

Besides belonging to the Fraternal Order of Eagles, Philippine Eagles, of Cagayan de Oro, Marissa and I also belong to the Rotary Club of Cagayan de Oro (the Mother Club, founded April 22nd 1948, 60 years ago).

The Eagles seem to be a younger and more, more, more… well, fun loving.

Rotary and Eagles are two very different clubs. I and Marissa enjoy them both very much, but when it comes to a “girls’ night out” the Eagles beat Rotary, hands down.

I am not looking for the average yaya.  I would prefer one who has a college degree and who speaks Mandarin Chinese and English fluently.  Pay is negotiable.  (and she musta have a biga boobs a boomba boomba = Cheech and Chong = Char!).  Looks and age are not important.  I just want an educated yaya for my baby, one who is likely to stay on with us for the next ten years or so.

Marissa and I attended the first Rotary Club of Cagayan de Oro Marriage Enrichment seminar on February 9, 2008, and while I enjoyed it, I was also shocked by the results. I would say we are closer as a result of attending the seminar, but only in the sense that our differences in opinion are now out in the open.

For instance, despite my previous and repeated indications to Marissa that my cell phone, my wallet, and my PC were off-limits to her, without my express approval, she still feels she should be able to pick up my cell phone, go through my wallet, or log into my PC under my own userID anytime she pleases, and if I do not allow that, then it is because I do not trust and accept her as my wife.

These were exactly the things that I claimed were my “private grounds”. One of the the speakers actually mentioned that such things should be off limits. Marissa apparently did not pay attention to this speaker.

Another thing that really peeved me was that Marissa admitted she was texting me via multiple unknown cell phone numbers to see if I would respond, to see if I would engage a textmate. Actually, I have long suspected Marissa of sending me text messages pretending to be someone else, and when I get these I sometimes do not respond, but sometimes I try to get the person to show themselves. To meet me at some public place, so that I can quiz the person. Since they never show up, it turns out that it is Marissa who does this. I am not trying to meet someone new, I simply want to meet whoever is texting me to let them know that they should stop. The ones that text me once or twice I ignore. The persistent ones I want to meet to let them know I am happily married. Yet the persistent ones are my own wife, testing me.

The other peeve I have about this seminar is that it was disseminated as a non-religious function, but couple after couple attributed their successful relationships to “the lord” or to Jesus. While I am not against religion, I am not religious. I do not believe that a relationship with God needs any religious affiliation. This was very much like a “couples for christ” seminar. I would much rather have it been a “couples for themselves” seminar.

I took Gus and Riza Rodano to the seminar. Riza told me that she was actually a Rotary Club of Cagayan de Oro Scholar, and I expect Gus will be sworn in at the next regularly held Rotary Club of Cagayan de Oro (The Mother Club, founded Aprill 22, 1948) as a rotary member and that Riza will join the Rotary Ann’s. I think this will be a first for the Rotary Club of CdO, that one of their sponsored scholars actually becomes a member of her sponsoring group, like a bird that has come home to roost.

Finally, I was really impressed by the home of Ed Palad, the President of the Rotary Club of CdO. It was palatial. Plenty of yard and walk around space, and the house was filled with Filipino artwork. I have seen many houses in CdO but very few impressed me. This house impressed me the most. (Ed, rent a pressure washer and have the whole place swept, it will make the place look like new.)